My Experiences of Being a Girl in the Gaming Community.

It’s time, we need to have that talk; What it’s like being a female in the gaming community.

You’re probably rolling your eyes right now aren’t you? It’s okay I do this too, this is a subject that has truly been talked dry, however I still want to put my experiences out there even if I don’t have a new/exciting take on the matter. It’s important to put your experiences out into the community, positive or negative, it’s the beginning of an incredibly important conversation.

I have boobs and a vagina, these things are what separate me from those rocking penises, this is all that separates me really, I mean we’re all just meat sacks when it comes down to it.

I’ve never really understood why my name in a pre game lobby is the one that catches the eye of the opposite sex, the only username that ever catches my eye is one that mentions pizza, pizza is wonderful.

I will usually hear “Hayley May?” Muffled through a mic this will usually be followed with the message icon popping up on my screen, great, what does this idiot want? Some won’t even message me, they’ll just send me a friend request as soon as I land in the lobby, a friends request I 100% deny every time. If we’ve never had any interaction with each other you’re simply thinking it’s cool to have girls on your friends list, of course it is cool to have girls on your friends list, it’s cool but not for the reasons you’re thinking. It’s just cool to have like minded people around, vagina or penis, it doesn’t matter!

I have received dick pics, I have received “are you really a girl?” messages, I have received “get back to the kitchen” messages, and I have received awful messages about raping me, though most just ask if I’ll suck their dick.

I have learnt to laugh at these messages, I imagine them being sent by 11 year old boys and lonely older men sweating in a track suit, no one with any respect for another human would send the shit that I receive so these people do not matter to me.

I have to admit the first dick pic threw me a little, I honestly didn’t expect to be treated the way I got treated, I didn’t expect privileged treatment either, the point is I didn’t expect any treatment other than that of any other gamer, I was naive enough to think I could blend in and go under the radar.

It was after the first few derogatory messages that I began to think, they have no idea who’s on the other end of that image of a semi-erect tiny penis, it could be a young girl, it could be someone that really can’t laugh it off, I mean no one wants a picture of your ugly dick if they haven’t requested it but it could be seriously more harmful to some more than others. Hell, what if I had a child in the room.

What frustrates me most is if I’m playing a co-op game with my husband (n3rdabl3 CEO Aaron), he is left alone, he doesn’t have to deal with the message icon popping up and getting that sinking feeling, it’s not on his radar at all. He is a man, he is allowed to play games and enjoy them and if he is having a poor play day it’s not because of his sex. If I suck it’s because I’m female, of course. I envy him, I really do.

It baffles me why my reproductive organs mean I’m less of a gamer, we game with our hands, I don’t use my ovaries to press the right trigger just like you don’t slap your dick on the D-pad. Skill level has sweet fuck all to do with being male or female and I honestly don’t understand why there are some cretins that don’t understand this, I mean, really it’s 2014 catch the fuck up.

I find myself constantly muting everyone in the pre-game lobbies and even recently paying to change my XBL username so it’s less obvious that I’m a female, I gave in, they won.

I hate doing this I really do, It does nothing for girls in the gaming community, essentially I’m hiding. I don’t do it because they bother me, I do it because what it comes down to is I just want to play. I want to play without being harassed, I just want to enjoy the game, I want to do something I love without being called a bitch doing it.

I’ve read many an article about how girls don’t exactly help themselves when they pose with controllers and have usernames like ‘guuuuurlgamer’, we’re not all like this. Yes, maybe there is a small percentage of females in the community that feel like special snowflakes because they game. Most of this girls are young, they’re not hurting anyone and to some extent they do genuinely love playing games and after all that’s all that matters.

Females shouldn’t have to prove how much they love a game, everyone’s at a different level of nerdy and just how nerdy they are shouldn’t have to be validated.

The lovely Angelina from albinwonderland made a video, in it she says that these girls are all at some level of being in love with gaming. I agree, there’s only a small percentage that are faking it for attention, the boy they like plays Zelda so they lie and say they do too, most of us have told a tiny white lie to allow you to attach your lips to another person’s lips. Let’s not judge the female population in the community on the actions of a few. Hey, let’s not judge on the actions of anyone, just take everyone individually at face value, after all wouldn’t you rather enjoy the game that you spent almost £50 on rather than getting your panties in a twist because you got killed by a girl?

If you get excited when you see a girls username in a lobby – don’t.

If you want to flirt with her just because she’s a girl playing a game – don’t.

If you’re thinking about sending an inappropriate message – don’t, instead think of a female you are close to and imagine them receiving what you’re about to send. If it grosses you out, guess what, don’t send it!

Lastly, this is something that could probably have it’s own article but I feel it needs to be added to the end here so I’ll make it short and sweet. Females, stop calling out other girls. It’s not helping at all. It doesn’t make you a superior gamer it just makes you a dick. If you see a girl at the beginning of getting into gaming, don’t put on your superior panties, instead show her the wonderful exciting world she’s entering, make her fall in love with it.

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Jesus. This is depressing.