X Men Origins: Wolverine; Hugh Jackman as “Wolverine”

Let’s make this clear. I’m writing so it’s a record for history. Also to ensure no one has to watch some of the weaker X-men movies.

Granted they’re not classic Batman and Robin bad, but they still aren’t really great. At all. So my plan here is to account the film’s back story for Logan AKA Wolverine AKA James Howlett.

Our tale begins back in the 1800’s at a rich Canadian household. A young boy named James Howlett is not very well and his well off Father is taking care of him. When a row with the groundskeeper gets out his hand, he kills James’ Father so James releases his bone claws and kills the groundskeeper The groundskeeper turns out to be the boy’s real father.

James flees the scene of his first kill with Victor Creed. Victor Creed is the identity of Sabertooth and one Logan’s ongoing baddies. Though this Victor is never called Sabertooth and bares little resemblance to the one in the first X-men film.

It’s a good thing all these continuity errors in the X-men films aren’t a drinking game.

So the duo spend a long time fighting in various conflicts until Vietnam when the two are imprisoned for Victors’ savage actions. The two are recruited by William Stryker to help steal a mysterious asteroid from space which will later become Adamantium, the metal Wolverine is covered in.

As part of a team, they meet a sort of Deadpool and Will.i.am and obviously meeting these two makes Wolverine quit and live a normal life… until the love of his life is killed by Victor and with the help of Stryker he’s infused with an Adamantium skeleton to  improve his healing factor, and give him his trademark metal claws.

After that he then finds out his slaughtered love was actually a double agent of sorts and Stryker has turned Deadpool into a mindless Cyclops/Wolverine/sort of Deadpool super soldier that he has to battle.

How does Wolverine forget all this and why doesn’t Charles Xavier help him out when he rescues a group of kids Wolverine helped free from Stryker? Will Stryker shoots him in the head with Adamantium bullets and it wipes his memory.

Make of that what you will.

 

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