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A brief round of Marvel Top Trumps

Remember Top Trumps? That card game all the REAL card game everyone was playing instead of Magic The Gathering, Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh! How does it work? Well let me explain, including how I can solve the problems of the Marvel Universe.

The game worked using simple maths, not that complex math used by Dungeons and Dragons. You have a ton of categories on a card and whoever has the highest number, wins.

For example, if you were playing Top Trumps for Lord Of The Rings, the dealer announces he wants to know who has the highest number in the category of fighting skills. The highest number would win.

So, using my Top Trump cards for the Marvel universe (early 2000s prior to the superhero cinematic boom) I’m going to solve some ongoing beef. Whoever has the highest points in the most categories wins.

Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic vs. Doctor Doom/Victor Von Doom:

So the super stretchy leader of The Fantastic Four against the metal dictator, Dr Doom. So, who wins? Check it out below:

002 001Well, here’s our first shock of the battle campaign. The maniac face of metal will beat Mr Fantastic, purely based on maths, taking four categories. Though if Mr Fantastic was with the Fantastic Four, he would be four times as powerful.

Ironman vs. Black Widow:

The armoured avengers against Black Widow, the super agent who’s been romantically attached to Daredevil. So let’s crunch some numbers and see what happens:

003 004So, the Golden Avengers takes this round, taking four categories. Looks like skin tight leather and sexual presence is no match for high-tech colourful armour. Who would’ve thought it?

Magneto vs. Professor X:

If these two ever decided to clash head-on, who would win? Don’t let the wheelchair fool you, Professor X has used alien gadgetry to walk before. But enough of that, it’s time for some numbers:

006 005Looks like the master of magnetism takes this one thoroughly. With a draw on agility, Professor X could then call the rest of the X-men, though it would be moot if Wolverine turned up.

Thor vs. Apocalypse:

The Norse God vs. the self-appointed god of ancient Egypt. The god mode mutant vs. the guy with the thunder hammer:

008 007Well, looks like the upcoming movie villain has Thor on the ropes. Trouncing him in four categories. Looks like there is strength in numbers for the good guys.