The reviews are in and it seems like a unanimous wet fart for the new Fantastic Four movie. I know a lot of people will be saying it was kind of obvious this one was going to blow, but still it’s a real shame.

I mean come on, one the Marvel staples has completely swung and missed. With so much going right for the comic book adaptations with The Avengers and so on, it’s a shame that the ground-breaking heroes – who had no secret identities, and a team dynamic which felt more like a family, which was really different for the time – flopped.

Do you know what annoys me? That elitist film geek saying that ‘The best Fantastic Four film is The Incredibles’.  Sorry no. I don’t think that. I know they have similar powers, shared villain and family dynamics. The Fantastic Four embraces all the weird B-movie sci-fi tropes of the 60s, and the weird grown up family dynamic works.

Plus, look at what this childish war between Fox and Marvel Studios has done to the team. In the comics, this has happened. In the upcoming Marvel continuity reboot, The Fantastic Four won’t have their own book.

The team are divided and have joined different books. The Thing is now with The Guardians of the Galaxy. Johnny Storm is with the Inhumans. Meanwhile, in Disney’s line up of Marvel animation, they are hugely absent. Unless they’re on their own.

Most of their villains have been re-assigned to Hulk and the agents of SMASH. Look at how this team have been split apart, just because two kids can’t share a set of action figures that could’ve been enjoyed by anyone.

Now to director Josh Trank. The dude who did Chronicle and exited from the Star Wars project. Dude, I’ve sorted out what you should’ve done. You shouldn’t have used the Ultimate Comics version of the Fantastic Four. How about the Mangaverse versions? The guys who can’t increase their sizes using their powers.

Asian influences fused with western characters. Hits the Asian markets and cashes in on the reboot themes of Western cinema. Sounds like a win to me.

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