Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who

The BBC have revealed that this Sunday they’ll reveal the next Doctor Who that’ll be taking responsibility of the Sonic Screwdriver for the next couple of seasons, but rather than waiting, we thought we’d knock up some pretty unrealistic suggestions.

Now, I’m not a Whovian, I haven’t really paid much attention to the new series’, the last Doctor I watched was back in the early nineties and as a youngster it used to scare the bejeebus out of me. So I thought that’d make me perfectly qualified to suggest who the next Doctor Who could be.

Now, from what I’ve seen, the Doctor has to have to be from the UK or at least English, Scottish, or Welsh. I was going to make the mistake of saying “has to be British” but then we had David Tenant at one point so that’d just make me look silly. Other than that, I have no other idea what is required of a potential regeneration, so let’s just get right into it.

Here’s who I thought would make a great, if not slightly unrealistic, Doctor.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

This guy just screams Doctor Who. Sure, he’s also Sherlock and that’d be really confusing for us nerds, but what if the Doctor Who universe was in the same universe as Sherlock all along? Wouldn’t that be magic?

Instantly, we’re onto a winner. There’s no need to find another sidekick as we’ve already got Watson. Though having two Doctors might be a little confusing. Hmm, maybe I didn’t quite think this through…

Tim Roth

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

He’s cockney, he’s cockey, and he’d make a fantastic Doctor, surely. He’d have a certain wit about him that other Doctors wouldn’t have. Sure, he’s currently lording it up in Hollywood, but perhaps he could come home and play one of the UK’s more iconic nerd culture icons?

Being The Doctor would also help him redeem himself as a good guy, I mean he’s done nothing but play the villain in recent times, so it might be nice to be back on the good side for once.

Chris Pratt

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

Here’s our yanky wild card. Just imagine, Peter Capaldi melts (or whatever the Doctor does when he regenerates) and then appears Chris Pratt. It’d blow everyone’s minds, it’d be spectacular. It’d be totally unrealistic.

Pratt isn’t exactly unfamiliar with travelling through time and space, I mean, he is the Star-Lord after all, so he’s already used to the “Lord” moniker, this time it’d just have Time in front of it.

Ross Kemp

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

He’s our every day hero. From the mean streets of Albert Square to the mean streets of gang territories. This guy has thrown himself among some of the world’s most dangerous gangs so we don’t have to.

He’d clearly know a thing or two about bad guys and certainly wouldn’t mess around when it comes to turning some of those angel statue things into dust… Right? He wouldn’t need a sidekick either, he’d just need the occasional motivational speech from Barbara Windsor.

Danny Dyer

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

In a similar vein, Danny Dyer is this generations Ross Kemp. He’s the new king of the Queen Vic, and he spends his spare time hanging around with some of Britain’s most dangerous people.

Either way, Kemp or Dyer, you’d be onto a cockney winner here.

Nicholas Lyndhurst

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

Who wouldn’t say no to Rodney being the keeper of the Sonic Screwdriver for a little while? Just imagine seeing him in various awkward situations in among strange timelines with that confused and vacant look on his face?

If it helps, he’s recently starred in a show here in the UK called New Tricks, where he wears a trench coat and acts a little more serious than back in his Only Fools and Horses days.


Eamonn Holmes

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

Mostly known as a talk show host and being tied to the hip of his wife, Ruth Langsford, Holmes might be an interesting wildcard to step inside the Tardis. Sure, he’d crack some chauvinistic jokes every now and again, and probably comment on his marriage more times than you’d care to count, but he’d be down for a laugh.

And seeing how he’s constantly with Ruth, there’d be no need for a sidekick either.

Martin Clunes

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

Men Behaving Badly, is there anything more I can say here? Martin Clunes would be perfect for the role as he’s already spent enough time as a Doctor in Doc Foster, so he has the work experience.

Sure, travelling time and space is a little different from being a small-town seaside doctor, but what can we do here? We’ve pretty much exhausted our pool of notable UK actors who could play the role.

Mr. Blobby

Unrealistic Suggestions for the Next Doctor Who - n3rdabl3

Mr. Blobby has been a hot topic here at n3rdabl3 as many of our US gang haven’t a clue what Mr. Blobby even is. You see, they never experienced the joy of the Saturday evenings spent at Crinkly Bottom during Noel Edmond’s House Party as Mr. Blobby has a paddy because he can’t do what he wants.

He also has a built-in sidekick with Noel who I’m sure by now is sick of answering the phone to the Banker while people open numbered boxes.


So there you have it, there’s a good couple of suggestions here that The BBC could go off. Sure, they’re totally unrealistic and impractical, but wouldn’t it be funny…

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