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Here’s a Better Origin Story for John Cena

When the lines between reality and fantasy become blurred, you can’t see me. 10 points to anyone who managed to get that joke and another 10 if they found it funny.

So, what if WWE decided to take a page out of the book of Marvel and DC and decided to revise the origin of John Cena? To, you know, make it flow better and revise an origin that might have got lost in the winds of time. All like Batman Year One, but instead you’d called it John Cena Year One.

So, how would you do that? Well, you won’t need to hold your breath and wait, I’ve got one all ready to go.

Dramatisation *Probably didn’t happen at all and is all just a work of fiction*

We begin with the early 2000s when a young John Cena debuts against Kurt Angle after accepting an open invitation to a match.

Over a certain period of time, a young Cena is struggling to make his mark and then one day, he overhears Stephanie and Vince McMahon discuss how he may get fired as they couldn’t see him becoming a draw for the company.

To make matters worse, backstage a bunch of fans don’t even recognise him.

That night, he heads out into the city the WWE tour has come to, to clear his mind when he comes across a street wrestling match between an unknown and the Professor of Thuganomics at the local university. The Professor wins.

Cena goes and introduces himself and the Professor takes him under his wing and Cena enrols in his Doctorate Program for Thuganomics. There he learns the subtle academic wrestling art of Thuganomics, he even meets a ninja who teaches him the rare and unknown “You Can’t See Me” move of his ninja clan. Eventually graduates and earns his Hip-hop chain.

Little did Cena know, the chain is evil and causes him to turn Heel.

Many years later, the curse is broken when an envoy from the Cenation arrives to break the curse and it was there Cena turned Face and also discovered he comes from a secret country called the Cenation which he never knew… and the rest is history.

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