We all love that big loveable oaf Jason Vorhees, don’t we? In the post-Scream world we live in today, the Friday the 13th series just comes off as wonderfully quaint. But what if he were to wield a machine gun?
Whenever I watch through the series now, I find myself laughing at the cliched dialogue, clumsy acting and stereotypical characters. The series began as a rip-off to the iconic John Carpenter slasher film Halloween and gradually grew sillier from there. From the second film onward, our villain is Jason Vorhees, a deformed man who nearly drowned in Crystal Lake as a boy and lived alone in the woods since then. After his serial killer mother is killed in the first movie, our boy Jason decides to continue her good work, murdering any teenagers who so much look at a beer, joint, or boob.
I find it hard to see Jason as a threatening villain; I usually envision him as a bumbling sit-com dad, blundering through different comedic mishaps. “Look, there goes Jason. What’s he up to this time? He’s just gone and stabbed a jock in the dick! Now he’s trapped in space! Oh Jason, what are you like?”
Still, the series could have been even sillier, as revealed in an interview on the Midnight’s Edge podcast last week with Part VI director Tom McLoughlin. He claimed that the script originally contained a scene in which Jason used an Uzi to murder two of the cast, unloading an entire magazine on them at close range.
Now, Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives is an incredibly silly movie already. It opens with a long-dead Jason being dug up and resurrected through being struck by lightning, becoming an invincible, super-strong zombie killer. Yup, you read that right. The film is intentionally very silly and humorous, making it stand out in the franchise as having a bit of self-awareness. Seeing our hockey-masked hero use a gun may have been a bit far for some people, as no doubt the scene would have appeared unintentionally hilarious.
The director claims he removed the gun from the film as he thought using an Uzi to shoot two teenagers was something any ordinary person could do. What is the point of making Jason an undead hyper murderer if he just does boring old normal murderer things? As such, the film includes such gems as Jason folding a man in half and crushing a ladies head into an RV toilet door.
I think I agree with the removal of the Uzi scene. It would feel a bit out of Jason’s character to use a gun. I can’t imagine the guy being able to use a tin opener without cutting his fingers off, let alone an automatic weapon. He would probably end up staring down the barrel Wily Coyote style, filling his hockey mask with even more holes. As more dedicated fans will point out, Mr Vorhees did once use a harpoon gun to kill someone, and to that I say ‘shush’. It was probably a happy accident. He was trying to use it to tell the time, and just so happened to off some bloke when he tried to adjust the minute hand.