While we’ve recently had ups and downs with Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s future, with it initially being canceled only to be resurrected from the dead after fan outrage in a matter of days and especially with the latest seasons trailer dropping, it sparked a little lightbulb moment in my brain. “What could they do if they had Brooklyn Nine-Nine spin-offs?” I thought to myself. Well, intrepid reader, I present you my wonderful ideas.
If any TV people are reading this, hit me up.
Boyle Boys Baking Barrage
Starting with the most obvious spin-off idea, but a golden one none the less. Charles Boyle’s the resident “foodie” of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine crew, Hell, he dated Vivian Ludley for a bit and we all know he has a penchant for disgusting culinary experiences!
The setting would be simple, like any celebrity chef TV show we’ve all come to watch and tolerate but with Boyle cooking up some truly monstrous concoctions. Ever wanted to take a gastronomical trip around the inside of a pigs colon? Boyle Boys Baking Barrage has you covered.
Naturally, as his family is weirdly involved with everything in his life, you’d have the occasional bumbling cameo from his father, Lynn Boyle, as well as sporadic appearances from Gina Linetti, as she dances her way through the set to belittle and mock Charles. Truly a show we need, nay, must have in the future.
The Majesty Of The Antique Globe
Captain Raymond Holt, a man of reverence, a man of great self-discipline, a man whose life can no longer include milk, but most importantly, a man with a love of antique globes.
While Captain Holt may have entered the precinct as a stickler for the rules, through the years we’ve learned that he can be a fun, carefree guy who goes by the name “Velvet Thunder”.
So why would he spin-off to have a show about antique globes, I hear you cry? When Ray Holt is passionate about something, he gives it his all and boy does this man love some antique globes, especially his father’s collection.
While The Majesty Of The Antique Globe wouldn’t be as potentially explosive as Boyle Boys Baking Barrage, it’d definitely be insightful and mellow
Peraltas Christmas Movie Medley
I can hear you in comment section already – “He only has one movie that he’d put on!” – and while you may be correct, I don’t really care.
The Peraltas Christmas Movie Medley would of course just be Jake presenting you with Die Hard, day in, day out. Once Die Hard finishes and you’ve Yipee Ki-yay’d yourself into a coma, guess what? Nakatomi Plaza again. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice? All the quotes. All the Die Hard. 24/7.
Seems like you’d get tired of it, right? Well, occasionally, Jake will pop up with fun facts and trivia about the first Die Hard, as well as occasionally going off on rants about how the other cast feel about Die Hard.
X Is Dumb
I assume you could probably guess where this one’s going.
X Is Dumb would be a series where our beloved Terry Jeffords lists things that he finds “dumb”. If any of our UK readers remember the old show Room 101. I’d envision it like that, with Terry sat next to a conveyor belt with a plethora of things that he either finds dumb or doesn’t find dumb. If it’s dumb, he pulls a lever that drops the item into the infinite abyss, but if he doesn’t find it dumb, it gets to live on.
Along the journey, he’d be joined by the cast of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, with them bringing things along with them that they either love or hate so that Terry may pass his righteous judgment. You can see Peralta bringing on some sweets or something with no nutritional value, only to have Terry call it dumb and send it careening off into the endless abyss of TV space.
Dancey Reagan – The First Ladies of Movement
We come to the end of our list, not with a stutter, but with a brilliant boom of light. Gina Linetti is here to show you the majesty of the human form.
This wouldn’t be a dance tutorial show because, as we all know, Gina is far too self-absorbed to bestow her gifts on such peasants like you and me. No, instead, Dancey Reagan – The First Ladies of Movement would essentially be a platform for Gina to show off her talents. A self-absorbed, narcissistic display of Gina in her purest form.
Occasionally, a few members of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine crew would make an appearance – though it’d mostly be Terry – for Gina to either berate or, in the case of Terry, fawn over while performing strange dance moves. She’s not classically trained, you know.
That brings our Brooklyn Nine-Nine spin-off ideas to a triumphant close. Do you guys have any ideas for other spin-offs that you could see the 99 crew in? Let us know in the comment section below!